Well, well, Mr. Lamar Sorrento, you're quite a creative character. I love your pictures, especially the one you did of this handsome devil.



And I've always loved your music. So, I almost tripped over my kayak on the way out the door to send you $ for your latest recording.



I want one of those free watercolors you're giving away with your music. I think combining your arts is brilliant. What a great combination painter and musician! Plus, I sure envy that Rickenbacker you own, it sounds like a living thing on your records.

Doug Morris At The Crossroads

Old Doug Morris, they sure are picking on you.


And you got such a fine singing voice, too! Doug Morris, you're a rare occurrence these days. You're a music man running a major label. That's why your company is doing so good.

I like when you stand up for us musicians, but I'm concerned you're using your business powers too harshly. From what that fellow from Nine Inch Nails says, it seems you like his website, but ya don't like letting Mr. Nails' fans mash up his music. So you put the kabosh on it.

Trent Reznor claims you put the hurt on his project because of some guy in your legal department. I know the history of the music business is fraught with lawsuits, but let's look at your pretzel logic, Mr. Morris. 'Cause you're suing MySpace, NIN music fans can't have fun foolin with NIN music. These fans have the blessings from the writer and the artist, it's your lawyers who are stopping this site from happening.

Shame on you, Mr. Morris! You're letting your legal department stop the growth of musical creativity in the name of legal confusion.